Archive for the Thoughts for the Day Category


Posted in Thoughts for the Day on March 16, 2010 by The Raven

So today is a beautiful, sunny day here in NY and while outside walking a rather hyperactive and time wasting dog I decided to do a few things.

1) I’ve decided that our dog loves the outdoors and purposely holds her business so she can maximize her outdoor time.

2) My Summer time nemesis, the bees are back in force. Gah! The ground is crawling with flies, and the bees are like.. All over. It’s insane. Guess it’s a good sign though because means Spring is here.

3) I really should get back to work on my writing. It’s been awhile since I’ve done a serious sit down session with it. I mean I worked on a couple pages the other night, but didn’t get too much done. And I started a fan fiction based on ‘Heroes’ but even that kind of stopped.

I’ve plenty of things for inspiration right now, I really don’t know why I’m dragging my feet. Maybe it’s because I’m worried it won’t be any good, that things won’t really go anywhere with it. Can’t really say. I know it’s frustrating though, because this second book of the series has been a two year project mainly because it was going to be the first book.

But I figured that characters needed to be evolved first, that the readers needed to know where they came from, who they were before the events of the second book because so much happens to them then. This first book titled ‘Blood Born’ is going to be the book that pretty much tells the origins of the characters, who they are, what they do and what relationships they have with one another.

As it is I’ve had to change the way one character is in the book, and right now I’m wanting to change another character. Why? Well um.. Because I wasn’t entirely satisfied with how he acts/reacts in the book. I mean there are some aspects of the character that I love, but I really do want to tweak it a little more. I figure if I can sit down and really make myself serious about getting more work done on these books that I should be able to finish them up quickly.

Right now the second book is nearly finished since I had so much done on it before deciding I needed to make a book explaining everything. And this first book has about ten chapters or so that are done, I just need to tweak stuff here and there and get the danged plot finalized. No one said being a writer was easy, and I’m beginning to see why. Sometimes it’s no fun trying to wrack my brain to figure out what I want to do.

So.. Here is to luck, inspiration and suddenly finding my lucky muse of the day.


The power of addiction.

Posted in Thoughts for the Day on February 23, 2010 by The Raven

As I sit here watching last week’s episode of Celebrity Rehab I find that it’s really one of the most emotional of all the episodes that I’ve watched since starting to watch the show back in Season 1. And I’ll admit I’ve cried off and on watching this show because I literally cannot imagine the things these people have been through, the things that drove them to addiction and what their lives were like while being addicted. However this episode has made me cry far more than any of the other episodes combined. This season of Celebrity Rehab (for those who don’t watch it) has Mike Starr, the former bassist of Alice in Chains- a band who I have loved since the 90s and to this day still love.

On last week’s episode Layne Stayley’s mother appeared with Mike Starr’s mother at a kind of family group session. For those who don’t know much about the history of Alice in Chains, Layne was the Lead singer of the band and had one of the most recognizable voices of that era and in my opinion not only was the sound of his voice hauntingly beautiful but he really conveyed so much emotion. I think that was one of the main draws to me that really made me a fan of the band. Not only did he have an amazing voice but he was surrounded by a lot of talent in the band members that were around him. During this family group session, Stayley’s mother spoke about the loss of her son- and Mike’s best friend- and the words she spoke were not only moving but very eye opening.

I can hardly believe it has been over 7 years since I heard about Layne Stayley’s death, and even now the thought of how long it has been is still very shocking. But watching the interaction between Starr and Stayley’s mother, you could see how much this affected the both of them on so many levels- which obviously goes without saying as the loss of a loved one is never easy for anyone.

My heart goes out to the families of those who have lost someone to addiction, as well as to everyone who is suffering from an addiction or even those who know someone suffering from an addiction.

-I would like to dedicate this blog post to the Stayley family, as well as to the families of those who have lost someone to addiction. Just remember there is always hope, there is always help and as long as you are able to support someone in getting the help they need to beat their addiction life is always possible.

Save Heroes.. Save the World

Posted in Almost Uncategorized, Random Musings, Thoughts for the Day on February 9, 2010 by The Raven

Or at least this is what I keep reading on my Twitter account *grins*.

For anyone who knows me you know that I was never really that big a fan of the show ‘Heroes’ and it was mainly because of the constant brooding of the cheerleader. I’m sorry but my idea of a fun time wasn’t sitting for an hour and watching some chick scowl for most of that time. However.. Things change.. And you meet people who are into the show and kind of talk you into giving it a second chance.

Now.. I’ve become a fan of one of the actors of the series. And while watching it and knowing a bit about the character he plays to start with, I was thinking. Okay.. Maybe this won’t be SO bad after all. Course I’m sitting there around Thanksgiving time and was watching a special episode and I’m watching the credits roll by.. And I see the name “Ray Park”. Instantly a “HOLY CRAP” moment happened and needless to say the show just gained a few billion points in awesomeness.

So now I have two of my favorite actors in that one show. Ray Park and Zachary Quinto. So now I’m hooked. I’ll admit it.. You have the epically evil Sylar (or well I guess he was epically evil, right now I’m not so sure) and then you have Edgar who I’ve really not seen too much in the episodes I’ve watched, but still.. I’ve been on Twitter a lot lately and I see this whole #saveheroes posts going around which in a way makes me think.. ‘Uh oh.. Don’t tell me I just got into this show and they are going to cancel it, or it’s up for seeing if it’ll be renewed or not.’

So I’ve been on a kick to help (though it likely won’t be a lot) to try and get people to help with ‘saving Heroes’. There’s been a petition started and their goal is to have 1,000,000 signatures to help with the cause. So what I am going to do here is post the link in my blog and hope that some of my readers who happen to drop by will sign it and pass it on to people who love the show.

It only really takes a second to sign it and you can log into the petition via your Twitter account if you have one. So it’s pretty simple to do.

Save Heroes, Save the World Petition

P.S: Figured since I posted this I’d stick with the spirit and add a little extra flare. Enjoy :D.

Oh the fun..

Posted in Thoughts for the Day on July 9, 2009 by The Raven

Yesterday after returning home from a nice long day of shopping with my mom and best friend, I wandered down cellar to let our cat out of his little kennel. Yes our cat has a kennel he sleeps in. Why? Because if left to roam on his own, the house would be a mess when we got back or when we get up in the morning. Now we of course give him food and water while he’s in there so no animal activists ranting about how it’s not right to do that. We do take care of him.

Anyway, back to the story..

While coming back upstairs with food and water dishes in my right hand, and my left on the railing (safety first) I caught the toe of my sneaker on the underside of the fourth step down from the top of the stairs. Needless to say I tripped (as I was going at a good pace, this is why safety first) and hurt my left knee and ankle in the process. I’ve been in some pain since last night- hobbling around and the like- since the injury. Of course knowing what I do about first aid and such, I managed to get it iced and elevated rather soon after the injury so with luck any excess swelling was prevented though I can still tell there is some in the joint itself.

So now here I am sitting on the computer, with two ACE bandages wrapped around my knee, a brace thing on my ankle and feeling rather miserable. It’s a gorgeous day out, I so want to go out and walk around the yard… And.. I can’t. How ironic is that?? The last two weeks we’ve gotten nothing but rain, and suddenly I’m hurt and the sun decides to come out of hiding. How is it fair? It’s not! Sooo not fair at all. In other words I’m feeling a tad cranky that I can’t go for my walk like I’d like to. And having no crutches in the house to make that possible I’m rather screwed.

Ah… The fairness of clumsiness and life..

Reflection (as posted in myspace)

Posted in Thoughts for the Day on June 21, 2009 by The Raven

It has occurred to me recently that life is short, and I don’t mean the blink and you’ll miss it kind of short, but it is in lack of a better word.. Short.. You waste time trying to live up to the expectations of others, to make them happy and before you know it, you’re old and have little time left to do what matters most.. Live to make yourself happy.. But sometimes that’s not always the case.. Sometimes you make this realization when you lose people you know. And I guess this is really where this blog is leading to.

This month is a bad time of the year for me. Two years ago I lost a friend from high school whom I had fallen out of touch with, and it hurts me to say that. She was killed in a car accident and it just was so sudden. You never really expect things like that to happen to people who were so just… Wonderful like her. And when something like that does happen… It just blows you away.. I can still remember the day I found out like it was yesterday.. Hell I spent hours during that one day just kind of blank, I didn’t even cry when I first found out because I was so shocked. And I don’t think it was until I sat down and started drawing that it really ended up hitting me.. I can still remember exactly what I had been drawing too.. I can remember drawing these flowers, one was this odd flower I’d found years ago inside of a magazine, and the others were white roses that my mom had bought me. I remember it was during the time I was drawing the roses that it finally hit me.. She was dead.. She was completely gone. Someone I had gone to school with, someone I’d known and hung out with in study hall… And it just made me break down.. Even now as I type this up I’m teary eyed.. But this is things I need to get out because I know if I don’t it will just make me even more depressed in the end.. Anyone who knew Jessica knew the type of person she was, and while I didn’t know her that well, I did consider her a friend even though we had fallen out of touch over the years. I can honestly say that I do miss her.

Now, this isn’t the only reason why this month is so horrible for me.. About a year ago my cousin who I had been rather close with through school was also killed in a car accident about this time of the month. And it was so hard for me when I found out. Because I knew him better than I knew Jessica, and had known him a lot longer as well. I remember when I found out, I was doing dishes if I remember right- and I say that because this one hit me harder to the point the day was a big blur- though I do remember holding the dish towel in my hands. I can remember calling up Joanna and despite the fact I was trying to calm about it I just couldn’t help it, I broke down while talking to her. So much so I felt sick. It was just such a horrible feeling. When I hung up the phone and went back to doing dishes, I just remember trying to get through them and focus on them so I didn’t have to think about it.. Despite it all I just.. I couldn’t. And something no one but myself knows? I went into a near hysterical crying fit while in the middle of washing our dinner plates. I remember just leaning over the sink, resting my head on my arms and sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. Sure Brian was the type to pick on people because he could, but he was never mean about it, at least from what I had witnessed, he did it out of good fun. But it still didn’t make his passing any easier.

It’s hard now.. Remembering the times I had with the both of them in school. It just seems… For lack of a better term a lifetime ago. When someone passes you always kind of expect to remember everything that you did with them, all the fun times and the laughs.. But sometimes.. You just can’t remember.. It’s almost as though they took some of those things with them when they left, and despite how hard we do try to remember those things sometimes we just can’t. But in trying to remember those things, you’re remembering the people you’ve lost. In a way it doesn’t make it so bad not being able to remember. I guess it almost makes the pain of not being able to think back on those things a little more bearable.

In all of this reflection.. I guess it’s easy to remember just how little time we may have with someone, and how little time we have to tell our true feelings about people. So.. Here and now.. I want to tell each and ever one of you.. I love you. You’re all the best friends a girl could ask for. And since a good 90% of you are people I know, and are related to.. That’s pretty good heh. Keep in mind.. Life is beautiful and even if there are days when everything just seems to suck, remember there are people out there who care for you and will always be there when you need someone- even if they are siblings and they drive you nuts lol.

Life is Beautiful by Sixx:AM

The angels of silence we almost forget we have.
Loved ones who guide us from lives past.
Watching over us in our times of need,
Helping us to remember that there are still
Good things in life.

In time we may forget your smiles.
In our years we may not be able to hear your laugh.
But in the end we will always remember,
The times that have passed.
And in those times you shall live on,
In our hearts and in our mind.

When memories fail,
And all hope is lost,
We’ll know you’ll be there to guide us
Our angels of silence.

Honesty, Sarcasm, and Irony

Posted in Random Musings, Thoughts for the Day on June 20, 2009 by The Raven

Honesty: You’re sick, don’t want to be messed with or bugged.

Sarcasm: Oh you’re sick? Nah I just wanted to know how it felt to say that.

Irony: Regardless.. Idiots still bug you.

Honesty:  That jacket looks horrible on you!

Sarcasm: Oh sure that looks great, if you want to resemble a road cone.

Irony: You love the jacket, but think it looks so much better on you.

Honesty: You’re happy someone did something awesome.

Sarcasm: Yeah.. Woopy doo.

Irony: You wish it had been you lol.

Honesty: I realized I couldn’t remember how Afterglow by INXS went.

Sarcasm: I ‘hate’ the song, no really. I wish it fell into a pot hole and got run over.

Irony: I began to listen to the song and realized, I love this song like crazy and remember all the words. *palm to face*

Honesty: I’ve misplaced something, and know I’ll find it in the last place I think to look.

Sarcasm: No, I didn’t misplace it, I just placed it in a different spot than I normally do.

Irony: It was in the last place I could think of.. Though, I didn’t need to look.

Honesty: I was over the boy band stage after high school.

Sarcasm/Honesty: If I ever like another boy band I’m going to spork myself in the foot..

Irony: I… I like another boy band!! (Sobs)

Honesty: I’m still listening to Afterglow…

Sarcasm: No.. Not my choice, my CD is stuck in my computer and for some reason the repeat function is frozen..

Irony/Honesty: I keep making it replay bwuahaha…

Yeah.. I’m in a strange mood.. I’m restless, can’t sit still and I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it’s because I’m having another bad breathing day or if it’s for another reason altogether. Either way it’s not a good feeling and it’s driving me slowly insane..

Stupid immune system

Posted in Thoughts for the Day on June 13, 2009 by The Raven

For those of you who know me know that I’ve got asthma and while it normally is under control I still do need to use an inhaler from time to time. As of right now I’ve got what I think is bronchitis that I caught from my dad, and it’s making my asthma flair up and making me feel entirely miserable. I’ve had to use my inhaler more this past week more than I have in the past five years.

But yeah feeling this crummy is making me a little short tempered around some people.  I’m trying not to be lol but damn it’s so hard when I feel like crap. What sucks worse about it is my doctor is only in her office in town on Tuesdays, and if I try to get in, chances are I’m going to have to wait until a week later to be able to have an appointment. Now, it’s not like I couldn’t go to another doctor because I could, but I don’t have insurance nor the money to pay for it (for some reaons) so my options are rather limited as to where I can or can’t go.

Basically I’m stuck like this unless I can by some strange twist of fate can get into the doctor this Tuesday to get looked at. Right now my chest is starting ache from all the coughing and my throat  just is raw. So aside from wanting to sleep all day I’m just wanting to stay away from as many people RL and Online as possible lol. I can’t say it makes me a bad person simply because I really just don’t want to tick anyone off because I’m either not answering them or I just get a teeny bit rude. What can I say?? I’m thoughtful like that lmao.